Thoughts on Motherhood

It's a day for introspection. I not only marked the start of my 28th year on Tuesday, but if you notice our ticker that counts the days since we began this crazy process, it's officially two years today. To be honest, I have a hard time remembering what life was like before adoption consumed my thoughts. Many days the wait for Mia to come home seems agonizingly long (especially now that I know she's actually real and out there waiting for us). Other days, I go from anxious and excited to overwhelmed and terrified. I'm going to have another human being depending on me for everything; our entire world will be transformed. The other day, Travis laughed and said, "They're going to give us a baby?!" We've had a good, long time just to ourselves. We're very thankful that we waited, and I know our marriage is strong and we've got a good base to build on, but nine years is a long time to get used to certain things. We talked the other night about things that would have to change, like listening to our iPod turned up loud, flying by the seat of our pants in the mornings, dinner at anytime of the night, being gone every night of the week, the list goes on and on. I know that it will all be totally worth it, but you have to admit, it's daunting. But, as Travis reminded me, there's no turning back now.

In other news, we received more pictures of our precious little Mia on Tuesday (the best birthday present ever!) from Bliss Rovang, who just returned home with her new daughter. She told us, "Little B*** is so tiny and I loved on her a lot. I don't think I have ever held such an itty bitty baby. I can't wait to see how much bigger she has gotten by the time you travel." And it's true, she is still itty bitty; the newborn outfit I sent is still big on her, but you can tell her cheeks are filling out. I think for a moment, I began to doubt that she was only a month old at referral because she is so alert in our first photos, but you can definitely tell her age in these, which is a relief in a way. I, too, can't wait to see how her personality will emerge over the next 8 or so weeks as she continues to grow and develop.

God is Gracious

As you might have guessed from the brand new countdown ticker at the top of the blog, we received our court date yesterday and are scheduled for May 26th. Actually, because of the 7 hour time difference, all the proceedings will actually occur while we're sleeping the night of the 25th. We should find out sometime on the 26th whether or not our baby is legally ours! We now have to keep praying over our case, specifically that God would be at work in the Ethiopian legal system and have everyone show up that needs to be present for our case to be heard. We should receive tentative travel dates in the next couple of weeks, but we think it might be 7/2 - 7/11.
Now that we have passed two very signficiant milestones, we wanted to (finally!) share the name we will give to our daughter: Emilia Jane Taylor. We will call her Mia, but we both really loved Amelia/Emilia; it just took us awhile to agree on the spelling. Travis prefers Emilia, and has done just about everything possible to convince me this was the best way to go, including telling me it was Ethiopian. If you know me at all, you know that I hardly ever take things at face value. A quick google search revealed not an Ethiopian heritage but in fact that Emilia is actually Italian in origin (Annie, I'm sure your dad would have loved that!). Quite surpisingly, there are a few well known Emilias in history, including Iago's wife in Shakespeare's Othello. Emilia means rival, emulating, kind, and graceful. Jane is after Jane Austen and Jane Bennett (you can tell her mother is an English major!) and means God is gracious. This is incredibly fitting having just celebrated Resurrection Sunday and Christ's ultimate gracious gift of the cross to us. And I pray that even in the midst of motherhood I will always remember God's gracious gift of Mia to us.

Care Package: Sent

We just Fed Exed our daughter's first care package to the Rovangs, who will be delivering it next week when they travel to pick up their daughter. We did limit ourselves to 1 gallon size zip lock bag, but it was packed full! I know we'll be sending more packages during our wait for court, but it's difficult to restrain ourselves from sending her the world. I guess that officially ordains me as a parent. This package contains:

• 5 newborn onesies
  
• 1 lightweight sleeper (check out the adorable feet - they're ladybugs!)
  
• 1 dressier outfit (Travis insisted she have something dressy to wear)
  
• Picture book filled with photos of her new mom, dad, and, of course, new dog Hank
  
• Soft zebra rattle
  
  

The Rovangs and Watsons have promised to take some more photos of her for us, so hopefully we'll have some new pics in a couple of weeks. We'll also receive a monthly update towards the end of April from our agency with new pictures, medical information, and answers to 5 questions I can ask her nannies. From what I've been told, I'll get basic information about how much she's eating and any medical updates, but I can ask about her schedule, personality, etc. Do any of you mothers out there have any suggestions on what I should ask?

And Now For the Story

As promised, here is what actually transpired last Friday:
My dad and I had gone out to lunch somewhere on the east side, the Tie Dye Grill (side note: they have amazingly fresh hamburgers). I had had a strange but comforting feeling all morning that today could be the day, but I was trying hard not to get my hopes up. Spending the last three weeks on high alert had been very taxing on both of us. Then, just as we were getting up to leave, my cell phone rang. I recognized the 703 area code, and my heart leapt in my chest.
"Hello, Sarah. This is Terra. I have some good news for you, this is your referral call!"
Even now, as I write, I can still hear her say those words and I can't help but smile and cry. We have waited so long for this moment, it is hard to believe it's actually here. I grabbed my dad's arm and said, "It's our referral call!" and Terra asked if I wanted to conference Travis in. A few seconds later I heard Travis answer; my voice was almost too full of emotion to say a single word.
"Good afternoon, Travis. This is Terra and I've got your wife Sarah on the line." I have to say it was an awesome blessing to hear Travis' reaction to the call. Terra went on to tell us about our beautiful one month old baby girl. After that, the rest of the conversation is honestly a blur. As soon as we hung up with Terra, I called Travis right back. We both just laughed with amazement and utter thankfulness. My dad took me back to work where I promptly excused myself to rush home where Travis was waiting. By 1:15, we were looking into the eyes of our daughter. I wish I could share her picture or even some more details with you all, but because of privacy issues surrounding the adoption, we can only post after we pass court.
So, you might be thinking, what happens now?
More waiting on our part. We returned our acceptance letter to AWAA on Monday, and now they begin petitioning a court date (CD) in Ethiopia on our behalf. Court dates have been traditionally been scheduled 2 - 2.5 months out, so we're anticipating a date in early June. We should hear within 2-3 weeks what our court date actually is. Soon after we receive a court date, we'll also receive tentative travel dates (TTD) of when we will actually go to pick her up. Typically, you travel within 2 weeks of passing court. However, 30% of families do not pass court on their first attempt. It is nothing we can control, so we must continue to pray that the orphanage has their paperwork completed correctly, MOWA writes our recommendation letter, the judge shows up, they have electricity, etc. You can be sure that when I know more, I will share what I can.
For now, Travis and I are continuing to marvel at her precious face and I've begun full-on nesting in her room. If you would, please pray for peace for us during this last (but oh so important) phase of waiting.

The Day We've All Been Waiting For...

This is it. The day we've all been waiting and anticipating for the past 2 years. Today at 12:20pm, we received our referral call for a beautiful one month old baby girl!!! It's been a whirlwind of emotions and activities, and I promise a nice long blog later with the story. Thank you, thank you, thank you for all your prayers and support during this long process. I can absolutely say the wait was worth it! And I'd be remiss if I didn't stop and thank God for this awesome little blessing He's bestowed on us. We are your servants Lord, and we will try our very best to raise her to know and love you.

Filled with much love,
Travis & Sarah Taylor

Distractions

Well, it's been over 2 weeks since we went on high alert; we actually received an email from our agency telling us we were "on deck" and we are anxiously waiting for our phone to ring. I'm not going to lie, it's almost agonizing. Every day I wake up, thinking this could be the day, and then feel a heavy sigh when the clock strikes 5:00pm. It doesn't help that every time Travis calls my cell phone at work, I think it might be "it". Last week I actually took his call in the middle of a meeting, only for him to ask me something totally arbitrary, like, "Did you get my email?" In my frustration, I told him the next time he called he'd better have some good news. (Let me take a moment to praise the Lord for my wonderfully patient husband, who endures all the hormonal abuse I dole out...he's such a great and godly man.)

Thankfully we've had a few distractions to keep me from going completely off the deep end. Yesterday I attended my third baby shower, given by my mom, my best friend Anne's mother, Susan, and my very good friend from church (and spiritual mentor and surrogate big sister), Laurie. It was an incredibly awesome day. I was very disheartened Friday when we didn't receive our referral; I had so hoped to have a picture before the shower. I was afraid the whole day would be a constant reminder of our unfulfilled hope, but instead I found myself encouraged and filled with God's peace. I loved being surrounded with such godly women, friends, and family. Here's a few pictures from the day, including my "Ethiopian pregnant belly" made by my friend Amie and her mom, Margie. Apparently they wanted me to have my share of fun trying to open gifts and reach to the floor. Thankfully my best friend Shari pointed out that, in my defense, not too many brand new mothers have to board a 24 hour trans-atlantic flight with a new baby. Point well taken.

400 Flower Cake

Opening the Belly Present (Notice Any Redness in my Face?)

Here's the Culprit, my friend Amie

And the diaper bag my mom made me.

PS. If you'd like to see the rest of the pics from the day, got to: http://picasaweb.google.com/sarahpas0421 .

This Is Not a Test

We are now on high alert, Defcon Orange. In the 2 weeks since my last post, there have been 3 more baby girl referrals and 1 baby boy referral. Both of the "either" families in front of us received girl referrals, the one boy family received a sweet baby boy, and another family that shared our same DTE (5.2.08) received their request for a baby girl, 0-18 months. I am now, as my Yahoo chat group calls it, the Queen Bee of the referral line. We can literally receive the phone call at any moment.
Ironically, I have strange sense of calm and peace. It's surreal to think, after all this time, of her actually now existing, halfway around the world, waiting to be matched up with us, her forever family. Many of you have commented about our strength and patience through this whole process, but please believe me when I say that it does not come from us; it is by God's grace and loving providence alone that we have (mostly) maintained our sanity and sincere hearts.
Hopefully the next post you see will be news of our precious baby girl!