Thoughts on Motherhood

It's a day for introspection. I not only marked the start of my 28th year on Tuesday, but if you notice our ticker that counts the days since we began this crazy process, it's officially two years today. To be honest, I have a hard time remembering what life was like before adoption consumed my thoughts. Many days the wait for Mia to come home seems agonizingly long (especially now that I know she's actually real and out there waiting for us). Other days, I go from anxious and excited to overwhelmed and terrified. I'm going to have another human being depending on me for everything; our entire world will be transformed. The other day, Travis laughed and said, "They're going to give us a baby?!" We've had a good, long time just to ourselves. We're very thankful that we waited, and I know our marriage is strong and we've got a good base to build on, but nine years is a long time to get used to certain things. We talked the other night about things that would have to change, like listening to our iPod turned up loud, flying by the seat of our pants in the mornings, dinner at anytime of the night, being gone every night of the week, the list goes on and on. I know that it will all be totally worth it, but you have to admit, it's daunting. But, as Travis reminded me, there's no turning back now.

In other news, we received more pictures of our precious little Mia on Tuesday (the best birthday present ever!) from Bliss Rovang, who just returned home with her new daughter. She told us, "Little B*** is so tiny and I loved on her a lot. I don't think I have ever held such an itty bitty baby. I can't wait to see how much bigger she has gotten by the time you travel." And it's true, she is still itty bitty; the newborn outfit I sent is still big on her, but you can tell her cheeks are filling out. I think for a moment, I began to doubt that she was only a month old at referral because she is so alert in our first photos, but you can definitely tell her age in these, which is a relief in a way. I, too, can't wait to see how her personality will emerge over the next 8 or so weeks as she continues to grow and develop.