Sunday, May 25, 2008

I Saw What I Saw

This video is by one of my new favorite Christian artists, Sara Groves. She wrote this song in response to a recent mission trip to Rwanda, an African country not far from Ethiopia. When I see the children in this video, my heart breaks as I think about my daughter. Is she out there right now? Is she being taken care of? Honestly, I want to bring all these children home and give them the love they deserve. I hope you'll take a few minutes to watch it.

My first adoption blog post

Well, many of you know that I intended to start a blog about our adoption process, but for some reason I just couldn't bring myself to start one before now. In a strange way, I felt that talking too much about it would jinx us. And although I don't really even believe in jinxes, I've never before in my life been through something that leaves me feeling so out of control as this. So many days I have to force myself not to think about it. Many people offer their support (which I really do appreciate), offer me great advice, tell me the wait will go by quickly, but the truth's so difficult. I don't have a belly getting bigger, I don't have any physical manifestation of our choice. This has truly been a faith based journey...

For those who don't know, our journey began over one year ago, April 22, 2007, the day after my 26th birthday. Travis and I applied with America World Adoption to bring a little girl from El Salvador into our home and hearts. We spent many months furiously paperchasing, gathering documents, notarizing everything, feeling like we were being scrutinized under a microscope, and finally submitting all our paperwork on October 5, 2007. Our wait for our forever daughter began. God, however, had different plans for us. We found out just after the first of the year that adoptions in El Salvador were all but shutting down. The wait, initially projected at 12-14 months, grew before us to 18 months, then 24+. We had a big decision to make...should we stick with El Salvador or switch to another country? Initially, even before we applied to America World, my heart was drawn to Africa. Travis wasn't so sure at first, so we chose El Salvador. Then we both began having dreams about an African daughter. I started feeling stirrings and strange longings for Africa. And then we were presented with this choice. So after much prayer, we decided to switch countries and began our paperwork...again...this time for Ethiopia.
I have to say, once we made the decision to switch, neither one of us has looked back. And so, after a year of fretting, gathering and regathering documents, anxiety, and tears, our wait began again on May 2, 2008. The projected wait time is just 7-9 months. Although I don't have my hopes up for anytime this year, we should be traveling to Africa after the first of the year to pick up our daughter. She'll be anywhere from 0-9 months...but that's all I know for now.

As we continue to wait, I will be updating this blog with any new news we receive from America World, tidbits of information about Ethiopia, our life while we wait, and my general thoughts on anticipating motherhood. And hopefully, one day soon, I will be able to post about our long awaited referral. For now, though, we continue to wait...