Whole

As we quickly approach Mia's first birthday, I've been doing quite a bit of thinking. It's amazing how fast the last five months of our lives have flown by. Although I can't remember what life was like before her, it doesn't even seem possible that the little 12 pound baby I brought home is now a 20 pound, almost-walking, babbling, dramatic 1 year old. (And I do mean dramatic.) I know that when you're in the midst of it, it feels like a certain stage will never end, but when you stop and really think about it, the change is so rapid you wonder how you even had time to relish those moments. In our case, I've also been thinking about all that we missed in the first six months and my mommy-heart just breaks into pieces. Adoption is truly a miracle and a wonder that we can never completely understand, not unlike God himself, but it is also a painful journey built on so much loss. Loss not just for us, but for Mia and her birth mother as well. Early on in the adoption process, I used to wonder how something so tragic could ever be beautiful. Then one day as I was driving and praying, God asked me, "Sarah, do you believe that I can do anything?"
"Yes, of course."
"Then don't you believe that I can make your family whole?"
That's when it hit me. God can take anything, any situation, no matter how sad and ugly, and make it whole.
So in the past week I've been trying to really stop and consider the miracle God has placed into our care. This little girl loves us so much and has given us so much joy it's unfathomable. And we love her completely to pieces. We laugh together, learn together, love together. He is making us whole. It certainly didn't happen overnight, or in a week or even a month. Our adoption journey has not ended, and I'm not sure it ever will. But I'm certain that we are a family; she is my daughter and I am her mommy.
And so now we begin to feel the stirring again in our hearts as we look east towards Africa. No, I'm not announcing a new adoption journey, not yet anyway. But the question is not if we'll go back, but when. After all we've seen and experienced, we can't not go back. And I truly believe God has another son or daughter there for us. In meantime, we'll soak up the moments we've been given with Mia now.

Wordless Wednesday, a day late

She really does smile all the time, just not so much for pictures.
Doesn't she look so much more like a toddler here? I can't believe how fast she is changing.

"Mom, no more pictures. I'm trying to eat my book!"


"This is my pensive look. I'm ready for my close up."


"What?"


"And now I will demand your apple for payment."

Ten on Tuesday

1. Mia loves to sneeze. I mean loves it. A great big smile and giggles follow each one. New development: she also loves it when other people sneeze.
2. She loves to cuddle in the morning after her bottle. Such a fun time of day and makes getting up at 6:30 every morning more bearable.
3. Mia always wakes up happy...always. You can't help but be excited and laugh when you see her...except when it's 2 a.m.
4. I love watching her learn new skills and new ways to play with her toys. It's amazing to watch someone grow and develop right before your eyes. Although I'm a little sad to say that we've already had to retire some toys that just weren't challenging anymore :(
5. My daughter will be one in six weeks. Holy crap, how did that happen?
6. Her new favorite thing to do is walk around the house holding onto your fingers. Around and around and around we go, probably 200 times a day. Still not crawling, and I think we're going to skip it altogether.
7. When you nod your head and say, "Yes" she smiles really big and shakes her head no. I'm not sure why, but it's pretty darn cute, at least for now.
8. Did I mention she's going on 1? What happened to the little baby I brought home?
9. We've learned all kinds of tricks like "So Big", clapping to "If You're Happy and You Know It," waving bye-bye, and putting shapes into holes.
10. I am now officially separated from Xerox Corporation and am now employed by Mia Taylor, Inc. Although the dress code is more casual and I work from home, the hours are twice as long and my boss is one demanding cookie.

Where Have We Been?

I am shamefully overdue for a blog post, and I wish I could tell you that we've been crazy busy or out of town or something like that. Truthfully, we've been home bound for awhile and I've been in a bit of a funk that's made it difficult to find motivation to write. We lost my grandfather on the 10th and immediately after that Mia came down with her first cold. Thankfully her nose has finally stopped running.
The holidays were bittersweet for us this year. It was an incredible blessing to have Mia this year, especially as we thought back to how sad we were the last couple of Christmases, but this was also our first Christmas without Travis' dad, my Grandpa, my cousin Andy, and our dear friend June.
With three sets of parents, Christmas is always a busy time, but Mia did great as we traveled from here to there with naps on the run. Our festivities started with a Christmas Eve dinner with my mom, step-father, and step-brothers, and Mia got to open her very first presents.

As expected, the wrapping paper and bows were her favorite thing to play with until I noticed that she was actually trying to eat them.

Santa did make a stop to our home Christmas Eve night, although he was rather late because someone woke up around 10:30 and didn't want to go back to bed. It was quite amusing to watch her on Christmas morning though. We usually take our morning bottle on the couch and after she was finished she sat up, looked around, and then her eyes became fixed on the new Animal Train sitting in front of the tree. She looked back at me and then started to point curiously. Although I'm sure she doesn't "get" it yet, she definitely knew there was something new that wasn't there before.

After she saw the train, she quickly climbed off my lap and had me to help her walk to the tree.

Then we made a mad dash to get ready and out the door for breakfast with Travis' mom, sister, and brother-in-law. Apparently Santa made a stop there for Mia, too.

Mia showing us how big she is...always a crowd pleaser :)

Mia, Mommy, Grandma Audrey, and Aunt Angie

Later in the afternoon we made our final trip of the day to my dad and step-mom's house, where we joined my step-sister, her husband, our niece and nephew, and some more extended family. Unfortunately, my husband is not great at remembering to take pictures (ironic, I know), so I don't have any to post. Let's just say, Mia know has a new variety of toys and books to play with, and I think I'm probably more excited about this than she is!
Hope you all had a blessed Christmas, and here's to a better 2010!