Lately, life has been a bit of a struggle for us. Although Mia brings us more joy than we could ever have imagined, we've had to face many difficult circumstances since our return from Ethiopia. The biggest by far is that Travis' dad is now on hospice care at home, and among his many responsibilities to photography, youth ministry, and school, Travis is trying desperately to spend as much time with his father as he can. Likewise, I've been spending a lot of time at home with Mia, an adjustment in itself for a once career girl. I'm not exactly sure what "life as usual" looks like yet, but one area in my life that has suffered tremendously is my walk with God. I'm almost ashamed to admit how dry a valley I've been in lately. Going to Africa was certainly a life changing, God-filled experience. If you've followed my blog for awhile, you might remember my post from our last night in Ethiopia. I meant every word of that entry, but as time goes on at home, I feel my heart becoming more calloused to what I saw and experienced. I feel as if life in bountiful America is sapping God's spirit away. No more.
Tonight, I leave you with a video that truly describes the things we saw. Yes, there is poverty. Yes, there are a staggering number of orphans that need forever families. Yes, there is disease. But there is also hope and joy that doesn't come from any kind of material possessions or status or power. Their identity isn't wrapped up in where they live, what they do, or what they have. Their joy is found in the Lord our God, and I confess that I want to be out of this dry land and back into His presence.
5 comments:
Sarah,
You are not alone friend! I have struggled too in so many of the things you mentioned. Change is hard on everyone and it takes time to get adjusted to it. I am praying for Travis and his dad and for you as well. I ran across this video today myself and it did my heart so much good!!
Hugs from MO!
Kim
Def. not alone. I came back from a missions trip to Ethiopia in Feb. and a couple weeks later, had to write my fellow travelers to see what was wrong with me. It's almost like a postpartum type feeling. You feel guilty for all we have, feel guilty you can't do enough to change things for them there, feel angry that nobody seems to understand how dire the situation in another country is. I felt very alone and misunderstood. It was nice to find out it wasn't just me. You are a changed person, and always will be. Once you have seen, there is no way to forget.
Sarah and Travis... I feel for you so much and understand your pain. Life gets hectic and we often feel overwhelmed by it all... as if we're on a rapidly-flowing river without a way to get to the shore.
I, too, have been in the dry desert of faith and have come through to the green pastures of His presence. Just remember that God is always there, carrying you when your faith is weak and low, when life gets to be too much. Trust in Him, and He will hear your prayers. He will guide you on that fast river and bring you to a quiet place where you can rest in Him.
Peace and love... Lynn
Sarah, great video. Thanks so much for sharing. I can only imagine the things you saw in Africa and the impressions that those things left behind.
Just remember that God is always with you and, thankfully, is understanding. He knows that although we may not be on our knees every night, we think of him and thank him for our blessings. He is present in everything you do for your family and in the way you approach those teaching moments you have with Mia. He is with you, even when you feel like you aren't always with HIM.
I stopped on by. SO RELATE. I feel like my worlds have collided and I can't figure out how to make sense of the mess. Praying and thinking of you! LOVE the baby E stein clip...thinking I should bust it out for Desta!
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