Tomorrow marks the ninth month since our dossier left the United States for Ethiopia. As wait times increased just before Christmas from 7-9 months to 9-11 months for baby girls, we are 'officially' in the right time frame (again). There haven't been any more referrals since my last post, so we are still #4 in line. We are hopeful (as is AWAA) that February will be as fruitful as January with referrals, but I try not to be so optimistic. (Does that make me pessimistic? I have certainly not always been a glass-half-empty kind of girl, that's more Travis' style, but I'm really afraid to get my hopes up just to have them crushed again.)
Here's our worst fear right now (as in really unthinkable, we try not even to acknowledge that it is a possibility). If we receive our referral in April (which is not unreasonable as there are typically only 1-2 baby girl referrals a month), our court date would most likely not be scheduled until mid June or first of July. If we pass, great, we'd be on our way to Ethiopia. If not, because 30% of families do not pass court the first time around, our court date gets rescheduled 4-6 weeks later. Here's the problem though: the courts in Ethiopia close from August to the first of October. We're assured that the only people who even notice that the courts are closed are people in jail and waiting to adopt; it's kind of like Congress recessing. So our court date would not be rescheduled until October. (See what I mean about unthinkable?)
I know that is a lot of ifs, and so I am trying to be very diligent in bringing these fears to the Lord. I know I can't control any part of this situation, but I so often try so hard. I'm sure He just watches as I struggle and bloody and beat myself up; then I feel Him gently nudging, reminding me that all my struggle is in vain. I need to do my part by praying to Him, being honest with Him, letting Him take my fears and have peace with the knowledge "that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose" (Romans 8:28).
I shared this with my Bible study group last week, and one of my ladies offered the suggestion of finding a project that I could immerse myself in, to keep me distracted for awhile. Since we have economized this year, I can't take on anything too expensive (too bad because traveling always makes me feel better!) so I've been thinking about learning to garden more (as in edible gardening: vegetables, fruits, herbs, etc.) and to begin making daily foods, such as bread and cheese. Any other suggestions?